From: Wayne
To: The Official Shadow People Archives
Sent: Saturday, July 6, 2013 5:18:10 AM
Subject: Being with Shadows
Quantum mechanics and Information Theory are painting an interesting picture of our physical universe; that nothing is as it seems, and there may be multiple layers to what we perceive as space and time. More so, there are beings which many people have witnessed in some form or another, including myself, which present a great mystery, a challenge, and also open up the doors to the fantastical. Because of these shadowy beings, and at least in my case, the lives they touch, it becomes easier to wrap ones head around alternate dimensions, to the paranormal, to high-end math and science in general. I will recount my long-standing and very exhilarating, shocking experiences, because they literally have defined my entire spiritual and psychological backbone for over 20 years (I am now 33).
When I was 9 or 10, living in Scottsdale, Arizona (Maricopa County), I was asleep with my mom; she woke up screaming, pointing at something at the foot of our bed. When I awoke, I looked to where she was pointing and on top of our armoire, was a humanoid made of shadows, crouching like a gargoyle on an old building. It had eyes, slits of white light, and it was staring at my mother as she screamed at it in a frenzy. When the being saw I was looking at it too, it jumped off the armoire, stood in a slightly stooped position for a moment, then turned quite literally into a black streak, shot out our open door and into the illuminated hallway where it promptly ebbed into nothing.
I have no idea how long it was watching before my mom and I woke up and saw it there, but after the fact, it lingered for all of 30 seconds before it fled like black lightning.
From my memory, the being had an exaggerated silhouette: large head, slits of white light for eyes, generically and sharply angled feet and limbs. It seemed average height (5ft and change). There was nothing malevolent about it at the time, although that would change in due course. If anything, I perceived a sense of derision from it… amusement? It’s difficult to define and just sounds like madness when I try committing to speech.
The thing was literally staring at my sleeping mom and crouched on a piece of tall furniture (an armoire), sitting on its heels in a crouch, with its hands between its knees, gazing intently with those burning eyes. It looked right at me; moved its head to look right into/through me, before leaping down, standing slightly hunched for a moment, then turning to the side and streaking out our open door in a flash of darkness. It completely evaporated as soon as it hit the light of the hallway. The being itself was pitch black, like someone cast a starless night sky into the generic shape of a man. I call it male, though it had no clear gender, because it seems male to me (all broadness and weird angles in its shape, no femininity implied at all); maleness was definitely projected in every conceivable way.
If I had to guess what the thing was thinking, it was definitely curious at first, as it watched us sleep, and seemed further so when my mom woke up and started screaming. It had its head cocked to the side and was in no hurry to leave, like it was fascinated by or was simply enjoying her abject terror. When I woke up though, it definitely seemed surprised that I could see it too, and then it fled, turning into a dark streak and fading into invisibility the instant it reached light (I bring this up a lot because it seems incredibly important that it can do something like that).
I had more encounters after that, one during the day when I saw the shadow behind a curtain, pressed against the glass. It impacted the glass forcefully enough to make a loud crack, arms and limbs splayed apart (same generic and angled limbs as before). This encounter lasted only a split-second, and it again shot off to the side and vanished into impossibility. I was 15 at the time, and was dabbling in Wicca and Black Magick (I was very much a goth back then), although I don't think that has anything to do with this being, directly (correlation is not causation in this case). Interestingly enough, this encounter happened after I had awoken from the first of what I would come to call a "Lucid Nightmare", which I will touch on soon.
Many times since, I have felt extreme malevolence from dark corners of a room, where I can feel a presence similar to the first shadow being, though much more intense. It makes my spine and limbs tingle, and my stomach clench in icy horror. I've heard anecdotally that these beings feed on fear, and I can believe that, as I get the sense that whatever these things are, they want us to feel overwhelming and acute horror. They make me feel like my life is in danger, like I need to run; my fight or flight instinct goes haywire! I'm in my 30's now, and this will still happen from time to time, only when it's pitch black and I'm alone, often when I'm feeling negative, or I start thinking about the beings themselves. I feel that thick malevolence from behind, and I want to run and never stop! It's insane but incredibly interesting at the same time.
Then there's the sleep paralysis... yeah, that is not a picnic at all... it's only happened a few times, and seems to be accompanied by VERY vivid, very surreal, very terrifying nightmares that are far more real than my normal dreams. There are recurring themes: The Devil (I am not Christian in the slightest, but this one is always incredibly clear about what it is), a Tower of some form (misshapen and ancient), running through a Maze (usually themed on a mall, airport, business complex, etc.) while being chased by nameless horrors (they are different each time), and most importantly, creepy humans with pitch black eyes (this also seems incredibly relevant to what these shadow beings actually are). These beings are INCREDIBLY strong in my dreams, overpowering me physically like it's nothing, and seem insurmountably heavy. They never talk either, but when I struggle enough, I can usually force myself to wake up, although doing so feels mentally enervating, like trying to lift a truck with my mind alone. They also are rife with that same feeling of malevolence the shadow beings cause in a waking state, although it is even more vivid (in my dreams at least). When I force myself awake, I'm on the flat of my back, with a thick darkness around me. There's a buzzing sound and whispers, and that horrible and intense, mind-numbing malevolence. My body shakes and it's hard to breath. It feels like a dream itself, or like I'm tranquilized, but if I try hard enough, I fully wake, and the darkness fades, and I typically fall back asleep instantly and completely exhausted. I've only woken up during one of these dreams twice, with that terrible result as described above. As for the dreams themselves, I have at least one or two a year, and I know exactly what they are at this point.
I saw on this site that sleeping on your back makes these attacks more common; if it means anything, this has ONLY ever happened to me when I sleep on my back. If you believe in chakra, the seventh (and Crown) chakra, Sahasrara, governs the position of sleeping on ones back, which I find to be very interesting indeed. Sahasrara also allegedly governs our connections to extra-dimensional forces and is believed to be a means of communing with whatever beings’ flit around in the empty spaces of reality.
The damned things also like to show up when I start thinking about them intensely, or bring them up in a conversation, or just dwell on them in general. I feel it now as I write this, knowing how insane that makes me seem, but quite used to it after 23 years of encountering this phenomena.
Also of note, they do indeed seem to respond to positive thinking, the more concerted the better. Typically, I imagine myself wrapped in warm white (or golden) light, then project outwards with my will, and in a commanding voice order them away. Thinking about my son also helps me in these moments, as he brings about all of my love and optimism for this world into a powerful focus.
Prayers from any faith seem to work well (so does any jibber jabber really), as long as the litany is spoken positively and with authority. This usually works long enough to get the hell away from the area, although sometimes I can literally feel these presences resisting and pushing back with more malevolent force. It seems to correlate with how afraid you are; if you steel yourself however you can muster, your fear lessens, and the shadow beings are denied whatever it is they are after. The word malevolent is perfect to describe what these things project; they cause lucid nightmares when you sleep, seem to feed on (or somehow collect) your fear and your terror, and wrap your sleeping body in paralyzing darkness. They flit from shadow to shadow, watching and projecting their will onto yours, hoping to make you feel terror and hopelessness so they can observe, feed, then vanish without a trace, sometimes for months at a time; but always they come back for more.
Because of my experiences with these things, I've taken an extreme interest in the occult, spiritualism, and quantum physics in general, and even though these beings terrify me beyond reason (and more than once have made me question my sanity), they are also incredibly intriguing, and I hope one day their secrets can be observed and documented empirically. My mom saw them too, and can corroborate what we indeed beheld that night so many years ago, although in her case she hates to talk about them and changes the subject as quickly as she can. She is VERY religious, and attributes them to being demonic, which I can definitely commiserate with (although I don't believe in biblical demons).
Shadow beings are very real, very intense, and very fascinating. They are a part of who I am, and I wouldn't have it any other way! I’m glad others have witnessed this force of nature as well, and I hope that some use can be distilled down from my personal accounts.
Thanks for listening (and you definitely have my permission to use this accounting as you see fit)!
